This week is Children’s Mental Health Week and the theme this year is ‘This is my place’.  The KSL Wellbeing Committee and the Wellbeing Ambassadors are running an activity in the Base every lunchtime this week, and Just Dance in the Sports Hall on Friday.

We know that our sense of belonging as individuals, in our friendships, in school and in communities plays a vital role in our mental health and wellbeing. To know our place and really feel part of our environment is a basic human need. It can have powerful and long-lasting impacts in lots of areas of our lives, including our physical and mental health, education, employment and relationships. When we feel that we belong, it empowers us to contribute to the world and make a real difference.

DEFINING BELONGING
This is My Place is all about belonging. This is what children and young people thought belonging meant. What does belonging mean to you?

• 'Feeling that you have a place where you are always welcome and valued as either place or set of people.'

• 'It’s like a place, your home, you belong with your family and friends.'

• 'Belonging means feeling a connection with something, feeling like I am meant to be there with no stresses or worries.'

• 'Feeling like you fit in and feeling comfortable.'

• 'Having friends, being part of local clubs and groups.'

• 'Belonging means people love you unconditionally

EMOTIONAL CORE: Belonging provides a feeling of security, support, and acceptance that allows an individual to feel comfortable being their authentic self, without needing to hide parts of who they are.

TWO-WAY PROCESS: Belonging is built on relationships and felt when you experience that others care about your well-being as much as you care about their own.

MORE THAN "FITTING IN": True belonging doesn’t require a person to change to be accepted. Authentic belonging is being valued for who you are, including our differences as well as similarities.

DIVERSE PLACES: Belonging shows up in all areas of life, including social groups, family, culture and physical places. The sense of belonging we feel can be shaped by our environment and interactions.

PROMOTING BELONGING: Children and young people need to feel seen, respected, and valued for their unique contributions. This is grown through intentional, consistent, authentic interactions and relationships 

Following on from the email yesterday regarding Children’ Mental Health Week, and the theme of ‘belonging’,  below is a letter to ‘Sam’ at Childline regarding feeling stuck and never good enough, and Sam’s advice to that person,

“Hi Sam, I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed lately, like I don’t belong anywhere. Even at home, it feels like I’m never good enough—my family often points out things I do wrong, and it’s hard to shake the feeling that I’ll always fall short. At school, I try my absolute best, but I’m so scared of failing or disappointing my teachers and friends, since they have such high expectations, as I've been an overachiever all my life. But sometimes it feels like no matter how much effort I put in, it’s never enough for them and their expectations keep growing. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with everyone’s expectations, and I just feel stuck and constantly inadequate. I want to feel like I’m enough for someone, as I am, but right now I don’t know how to get there. I don’t know what to do”

“It's natural to feel overwhelmed sometimes, especially when it feels like you're constantly trying to meet impossible expectations. It’s great that you’re doing your best, but it’s important to be kind to yourself in the process.

Accepting that you are enough can take time, and it’s all about changing how you feel about yourself and what you’ve achieved. It's easy to get caught up in trying to please everyone, but your worth doesn’t have to be defined by others' opinions.

Building your own self-esteem and worth can take time, but it can make a big difference to how you feel. Being more positive about yourself can be as simple as taking 10 minutes a day to list all of the things you’ve achieved, however big or small. It's also important to take care of yourself. It's okay to take breaks and look after your well-being. Remember, it's about doing your best and being kind to yourself in the process.

At home, it might help to have an open conversation with your family about how their comments are affecting you. They may not realise the impact their words are having, or that they’re ignoring the positive things you’re doing. Sometimes, sharing your feelings can help them understand and be more supportive.

As for school, it can help to try sharing these feelings with teachers you respect and trust. Your teachers can help to give you a different perspective, and challenge how you’re feeling about disappointing them.

Even if you can’t talk to the people in your life, you can speak to a Childline counsellor. Sharing your thoughts with someone who can offer a different perspective can be incredibly helpful.

You're not alone in this, and there are people who care about you and want to support you. Take things one step at a time and be kind to yourself. You deserve to feel happy and confident in who you are”.

Children’s Mental Health Week – Helping others who may be feeling left out.

Notice and include others.

Pay attention to your friends or other students who seem lonely or left out. Inviting them to join in with your game of cards, asking their opinion, or inviting them to sit with you can make a huge difference.

Practice kindness and empathy. Be curious about other people, get to know them better and really listen.

Celebrate differences as well as similarities. Recognise and appreciate what makes each of us unique (cultures, backgrounds and experiences etc). Be respectful through our language and actions to include others.

Speak to your friends who are struggling with feeling they belong and encourage them to speak with a trusted person to support them. 

Children’s Mental Health Week – Feeling Lonely

All of us feel lonely or isolated sometimes.

Feeling lonely isn't always about being physically alone or isolated. You might feel alone even when you're surrounded by other people, or like no one understands how you feel. Loneliness can make you feel down and have a negative impact on your mental health. If you feel like this, you can get help and find ways to feel better.

Advice from Childline below. Click on the links for more information on each topic.

You might feel lonely if you:

• find it hard to make friends
• have moved house or schools 
• are struggling with your physical or mental health
• don't have enough money to join in with plans
• have ended a relationship or friendship
• have been abused or bullied
• have lost someone close to you
• don't get on with your family or live in care
• have a disability
• are struggling with your gender or sexuality.

Things that can help if you feel lonely:

• telling someone you trust how you feel
• trying a new hobby or activity
• getting support on the message boards
• getting positive ideas to uplift your mood with our coping kit 
• tracking how you feel on the mood journal

Children’s Mental Health Week – Science of Kindness

When we feel that we belong, it helps us feel connected to one another and it also empowers us to go out into the world and create positive change.

It’s really important to help each other out when we can, and to find ways to take care of our minds. One very simple but powerful way to connect with others and create that sense of support and belonging is through kindness.

Why Kindness?

Kindness is a simple way to help EVERYONE. When we are kind to each other, it helps us to feel connected, which means we forge new friendships or deepen existing ones. Choosing to approach your day with a mindset of kindness and empathy is an incredibly powerful thing that can change lives and create a kinder world. What we do matters. 

Research has also shown that when we’re kind, when someone is kind to us or even if we just witness kindness, our bodies release feel-good hormones which lift our mood, giving us what’s known as a ‘Helper’s High’. It’s also been shown that people who are kind have much lower stress levels, age more slowly and have healthier hearts. Kindness isn’t just a nice thing to do, but can help us improve our own well-being, while helping others at the same time.

THE SCIENCE OF KINDNESS

Kindness is more than just a ‘nice thing to do’. It plays a crucial role in our well-being. Research has shown that kindness improves our physical and mental health – whether we’re giving kindness, receiving kindness or even just witnessing kindness.

Kindness can help us feel happier
When we experience kindness, a hormone called dopamine is released in our brain which gives us a feeling of elevation and lifts our mood – it’s often referred to as ‘Helper’s High’.
Read the research

Kindness is good for the heart
Have you noticed that when you are kind to someone that you feel good inside? Acts of kindness are often accompanied by a feeling of emotional warmth which in turn produces the hormone oxytocin in your body. Oxytocin causes the release of a chemical called nitric oxide, which expands our blood vessels, reduces blood pressure and protects our heart.
Read more about this

Kindness slows ageing
Kindness has been shown to slow down the ageing process. Remarkable research found that oxytocin can reduce levels of free radicals and inflammation (two main culprits of ageing) in our cardiovascular system, which slows ageing at the source.
Read more about this

Kindness improves relationships
We tend to like people who show us kindness. This is because kindness reduces the emotional distance between two people and makes us feel more ‘bonded’.  Our evolutionary ancestors had to learn to cooperate with one another. The stronger the emotional bonds within groups, the greater were the chances of survival and so ‘kindness genes’ were etched into the human genome. So today, when we are kind to each other, we feel a connection that strengthens our existing relationships and helps us to create new ones.

Kindness is contagious
Just as a pebble creates waves when it is dropped in a pond, so acts of kindness ripple outwards. When we are kind, we inspire others to be kind and studies show that it actually creates a ripple effect that spreads outwards to our friends’ friends’ friends – that’s an amazing three degrees of separation! This means that when you are kind to one person, that one act of kindness will positively affect up to 125 people!
View the graphic

Read more about The Science of Kindness here

Watch the Science of Kindness video here