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    Domestic abuse (source NSPCC)

    LINK to NSPCC INFORMATION

    What is domestic abuse?

    Domestic abuse is any type of controlling, bullying, threatening or violent behaviour between people who are or have been in a relationship. It can also happen between adults related to one another. It can seriously harm children and young people, and experiencing domestic abuse is child abuse. 

    It's important to remember that domestic abuse:

    • can happen inside and outside the home
    • can happen over the phone, on the internet and on social networking sites
    • can happen in any relationship and can continue even after the relationship has ended
    • both men and women can be abused or abusers.

    Types of domestic abuse

    Domestic abuse can be emotional, physical, sexual, economic, coercive or psychological, such as:

    • kicking, hitting, punching, cutting or throwing objects
    • rape (including in a relationship)
    • controlling someone's finances by withholding money or stopping someone earning
    • controlling behaviour, like telling someone where they can go and what they can wear
    • not letting someone leave the house
    • reading emails, text messages or letters
    • threatening to kill someone or harm them
    • threatening to another family member or pet.

    Signs of domestic abuse

    It can be difficult to tell if domestic abuse is happening and those carrying out the abuse can act very different when other people are around. Children and young people might also feel frightened and confused, keeping the abuse to themselves.

    Signs that a child has experienced domestic abuse can include:

    Effects of domestic abuse

    Living in a home where domestic abuse happens can have a serious impact on a child or young person's mental and physical wellbeing, as well as their behaviour. This can continue after the adults' relationship has come to an end, and post-separation abuse and coercive controlling behaviours can continue to remain a factor in the child’s life. The impact can last into adulthood.

    What's important is to make sure the abuse stops and that children have a safe and stable environment to grow up in.

    Our services can support children and young people who have experienced domestic abuse to help them move on and receive the care they need.

    If a child reveals abuse

    If a child talks to you about domestic abuse it's important to:

    • listen carefully to what they're saying
    • let them know they've done the right thing by telling you
    • tell them it's not their fault
    • say you'll take them seriously
    • don't confront the alleged abuser
    • explain what you'll do next
    • report what the child has told you as soon as possible.

    Support

    For parents

    If you're an adult experiencing domestic abuse, there are organisations that can help.

    For children and young people

     

    Our Domestic Abuse, Recovering Together (DART™) is a therapeutic service for mothers and children who have experienced domestic abuse.

    Find out more about all our services for children, including how to get in touch with ones in your area.

    The Hide Out, created by Women's Aid, is a space to help children and young people understand abuse. It also helps them learn how to take positive action.

    How Childline can help

    We understand how difficult it is for children to talk about domestic abuse. Whether it's happening now or happened in the past, Childline can be contacted 24/7. Calls to 0800 1111 are free and confidential. Children can also contact Childline online.

    Childline has information and advice for children and young people about domestic abuse, including why it happens and what they can do.

    Help if you're worried about your behaviour

    If you are, or think you might be, domestically abusing a member of your family, there's help available. Contact our Helpline by calling 0808 800 5000 or emailing help@NSPCC.org.uk.

    Respect offers information, advice and support to perpetrators of abuse. 

    • Call Respect – People living in England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland can call for free on 0808 802 4040 (Monday – Friday 9am-5pm).
    • Email Respect – You can email Respect on info@respectphoneline.org.uk. They aim to reply to emails within two working days.
    • Chat online – Respect have a webchat service available on Tuesdays and Thursdays 10am-4pm.